As a predominantly social species, we humans have gradually constructed our society into one which values those who are outgoing and social, more so than those who possess a more reserved and silent nature: introverts. And with the popularization of social media, interconnectivity and technological surveillance, things are becoming even more skewed.
Being an introvert, social interactions have never been easy for me. It didn’t help that I was born shy and grew up somewhat sheltered. I developed a tendency to spend and enjoy time alone, and avoided any and all unnecessary socializing.
With our rapidly growing population and technologies, the world’s only going to get more interactive, and introverts like myself are going to find it harder and harder to stay within their comfort zone. It’s up to you to be considerate, and do what you can to make the introverts in your life feel welcome and safe.
It’s not that introverts don’t enjoy company; we just prefer our socializing in small doses.
Many aspects of our lives are dependent on successful interpersonal communication. Whether it’s searching for employment opportunities, finding a romantic partner, or maintaining good family relationships, social skills are required of all of us on a daily basis. Naturally, those who are more outgoing are generally favoured by our society.
Introverts, on the other hand, are left out of this brave new world. But it’s not our fault — we just function differently than our extroverted counterparts.
Unlike extroverts, introverts don’t become energized when they engage in conversation. In fact, quite the opposite happens: the more we socialize, the more drained we become. After a while, we have to be left alone to recharge our batteries before we can get back out there and face other people. It’s not that we don’t enjoy company; we just prefer our socializing in small doses.
Even engaging in conversation can be difficult for an introvert. They have to try their best to be charming and pleasant — body language and facial expressions are often key to deciphering the intentions of the others, along with the person’s tone of voice and eye contact.
Misinterpret any of these cues, and you run the risk of misunderstanding what others are trying to say.
Then there’s the actual content of the conversation. They want to sound witty, but not overly smug or offensive. They want to be engaging and interesting, but if you overdo it you’ll just end up being annoying. Conversely, if you don’t say enough, people might perceive you as boring, or just think you’re not interested.
In many ways, having a conversation is like driving a car. As a driver, you have to be mindful of a multitude of signs and traffic lights, and as a conversationalist you have to be mindful of a flurry of facial expressions and body language, as well as tones of voice and other social cues. Whereas extroverts have a natural talent for this, many introverts still have their learner’s license.
This doesn’t mean introverts don’t have the capacity to learn, but in our high-speed, technology obsessed world, it’s becoming tougher to get a head start.
If you’re an extrovert who has an introvert in your life (and you almost certainly do), make sure to stay within the speed limit. They’ll thank you for it.
There’s a “we” you have in the text every now and then. Do you consider yourself an introvert? If so, is the internet any different from real life when it comes to interaction?
To both your questions Francisc: Absolutely. I readily identify myself as an introvert. As for internet vs real life interaction, there are definitely differences between the two. At the very least, one does not need to worry about interpreting and responding to facial cues and word inflections. Also, interactions carried out on the net are often if not always slower than face to face ones, and one can take their time to think through responses and to choose their words more carefully.
I pinned and Google+ ‘ed your article. Good job. As a college professor and a teacher at writer’s conferences I have become uniquely aware that some people are simply frozen when it comes to public speaking. This has posed a problem for me in the past as a percentage(usually 15 to 20%) of my grades come from class discussions. But I have learned that social media–like discussion boards for classroom topics–allow introverts an opportunity to participate in class discussions while still remaining anonymous. I have finally learned I am not responsible for bringing a person out of their shell. But I do believe arming my students with a mastery of their topic helps embolden them for any future discussions, so i hope that I help in sme ways!
Thank you for the compliment professor Mitchell. Fear of public speaking by students is no doubt a common issue faced by most if not all teachers. However, as you said, social media has come a long way in allowing us introverts to more opportunities to (better) participate and express ourselves; in the classroom as well as in life generally. And don’t worry, I’m sure you indeed provide great help for your students and that they fully appreciate it.