Posted in Humour

SFU Replies

This was a column dedicated to questions for the SFU Grand Leaders. The Students’ Republic of SFU has since been defeated

Cheerful Students Walking On Campus
Image Credits: Gabriel Yeung

Friends,

Do you remember life before this semester? Think hard.

Do you remember when science classes didn’t involve digging? When philosophy classes weren’t literally digging into Burnaby Mountain?

Friends, we have our school, and our lives, back. We can leave the mountain. We can eat more than beets, dried blueberries, and gruel. We can visit our families.

As we all know, this semester, we collectively imagined the SFU overlords. The Sphinx, the ghouls, the League of the Undead, the ghost of Louis Riel — everyone. They no longer exist, but they did. Our imaginations allowed them to.

We imagined these oppressors existed because we needed an enemy. We allowed them to exist because we trusted our fear.

Also someone probably has been putting something in the air ducts.

But friends, beyond figuring out what happened, the real problem we’re facing here is uncertainty. We imagined these beings’ existence. SFU students are asking: how can we be sure anyone exists?

We can’t. The overlords’ power existed because we allowed it to. What do we allow to exist now?

You have to answer that for yourself.

For me though, I don’t have to let any fear exist. I don’t have to let any story exist. I’m free in my mind, even if I’m being lied to, even if I’m eating gruel, and even if I’m reporting every rock I find to the levitating bear.

And it’s okay to be scared of losing those we have now. But they exist now. You exist now. And the perception that you paint on the ever-mutable reality isn’t necessarily correct. But you paint because you have to. We all do. We’re all together.

Talk to each other if you need to, SFU. Talk because you’re important, you’re here right now, and the beauty and mysteriousness in that very fact is breathtaking. It’s a miracle, and it’s perfect.

Sincerely,

An SFU student
P.S., Professors Broc Rossell, Zoe Druick, and Ellexis Boyle indeed never existed; they were holograms.

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