Halloween is just around the corner, so one might find themselves looking for a costume to terrify, tantalize, and titillate the average SFU student. Well, look no further! Here’s a list of five truly creepy costumes guaranteed to shock, mystify, and possibly offend.
The “late” bus driver
Students are standing around the bus loop waiting for the bus to arrive, but it never appears. Perplexed, the students glance across the street and see a lone zombified bus driver: cranky, tired, and complete with the bad attitude one can only develop after years of driving clueless first years around. Truly, a bus driver from hell.
The disappointed parent
Did you recently switch majors from criminology to English? Microbiology to gender studies? Computer science to philosophy? Well, look no further for a terrifying costume, because there’s nothing scarier than the embodiment of one’s own parent who’s “not angry, just disappointed” with your life choices. This includes the one where you dress up as them — and not just for your theatre performance program.
The incipient heart disease you’ve developed from all the junk food available at SFU
Triple O’s below the AQ, Menchie’s, Pizza Hut, two Starbucks, Tim Hortons, cheeseburgers available everyday at the dining hall — if you eat regularly at SFU, you are bound to develop some health issues. Why not stick it to the man (and your burgeoning heart problems) by dressing up as your favourite anthropomorphized diseased organ?
The robotic student advisor
Brimming with cash out their exhaust ports, these “career counsellors” with their whopping eight lines of dialogue (e.g. “Have you checked SFU calendar?” “Have you asked career services?”) and one emotion (oddly pleasant) are guaranteed to creep out fellow students. Especially those who have no idea what they’re doing at SFU and need some kind of advice from someone who can give you an answer more in-depth than “Major in what you like because employers are going to hire anyone with a degree anyway.”
The ghost of school pride
If you’re like me and couldn’t give less of a shit about festivities as pointless as Halloween, a holiday where everyone just tries to be this year’s most popular movie/television characters (Harley Quinn/Deadpool, anyone?) this costume is for you. All you need to do is don a raggedy cape, wear some ghoulish makeup and write “SFU School Spirit” across your forehead. The best part? Nobody will even notice you since they’re all too busy looking down in defeat, crawling from class to class trying to focus on the dreadful amount of homework and studying they have to finish — too dead to even notice the decaying corpse of SFU school spirit.