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“Beauty and the Beast” – Ariana Grande and John Legend

Jessica Pickering: This is the most I’ve ever liked Ariana Grande and John Legend. This is honestly the song both their careers have been leading up to. I’m not even being sarcastic, this is really good.

Jessica Whitesel: Ohhhh, I like this as a duet. It stays true to the original, but has some modern touches added in and it was the best way to bring this classic into 2017. Honestly this is the most excited I’ve been for a Disney movie in a long time. So as long as Emma Watson doesn’t disappoint me (haha jk, like she could ever do that), it is going to be a great movie.

Rita Ovis: Well this is a fresh modern take on the original Disney classic tune. It still feels like Disney, though, which is a good thing.

“Ballad of the Dying Man” – Father John Misty

JP: Father John Misty was on last week’s NMF which makes me feel like I don’t care for him/them/whatever. I know I’ve only heard two songs, but that’s enough to make an informed decision right? I do like this better than the last one though.

JW: I honestly really like Father John Misty. Again, like last week’s, this one is politically charged, but not in an angry Green Day American Idiot kind of way. At it’s core, it is still just a really nice indie folk rock track.

RO: As a huge Father John Misty fan I’m not surprised that he has released another existential ballad with a strong scent of satire. It’s slightly pretentious, but I like it. I especially like the choir at the end of the song which probably represents the poor guy passing away.

“Believer” – Imagine Dragons

JP: What exactly is the point of Imagine Dragons? Like, 2013 called, thanks for making this genre mainstream, but we have better options now. Also, your song for Suicide Squad sucked worse than that movie.

JW: Well this sure is a song. It’s OK, I guess. It sounds a lot like the song that they did for the Suicide Squad soundtrack and if this wasn’t labelled as “new,” I would have probably just assumed that this was the same song.  

RO: This song has some shockingly dark rock vibes, it’s super loud and powerful, and definitely captures the attitude of someone who believes very strongly in something. Also, if you replace “believer” with “belieber” in your mind, the listening experience is totally different.

“Feed the Machine” – Nickelback

JP: …

JW: I drove through Hanna, Alberta once. Their Subway didn’t have spinach or avocado. So keeping in mind that is the kind of dark place Nickelback came out of, I can understand their early stuff. BUT this song is new. It doesn’t sound new, it sounds like every other Nickelback song. I wasn’t expecting it to be good, but I was hopeful that they might have tried something new.

RO: Nickelback, back at it again! This song has some almost metal qualities, not what I would expect from them at all. This is the kind of song I would expect to hear in a monster truck themed video game.

“Fun” – Blondie

JP: Oh weird, I must have blacked out there for a minute. Back to NMF! This song sure is music. Someone definitely chose to record and release it. Yup.

JW: You’ve got to give it to Blondie, they’ve been making music since the ’70s and was considered early punk, so it’s cool that they are still alive. However, this sounds as if someone tried to make Blondie light. If you are a huge Blondie fan, this could maybe make it as a deep cut, but for the rest of us, we’ll just keep on listening to “Heart of Glass” on repeat.

RO: The essence of funk is strong with this one. If you want a literal FUN song to dance to, this is the one!!

“Way You Are” – Fetty Wap ft. Monty

JP: Ugh, get fucked in the worst way possible. Stop making noise forever. Kay, thanks, bye.

JW: Well, this sure is Fetty Wap. But it’s not “Trap Queen” and as far as I’m concerned that is the only Fetty Wap song that should exist. Also who the fuck is Monty? Is he just Fetty without any of the autotuning? Because that’s what he sounds like.

RO: I literally cannot understand anything Fetty Wap is rapping, is he eating a grilled cheese sandwich while singing???

“Big Picture” – London Grammar

JP: This is solidly okay. I can’t complain (which is a shame, because I LOVE to complain as far as NMF goes), but I can’t rave about it either. It’s like a C.

JW: My hometown used to have a store called Big Picture Audio and Video. It was always there in the background until one day it closed. That’s the best way to describe this song. It was here, then it was over, and it was mostly forgettable, but not offensive.

RO: A moody break up song, what’s new. It’s pretty though, and I’m 90% sure the music video will involve either a lot of dramatic face touching or rain.

“4AM” – The Mowglis

JP: What is this? It sounds like a poorly done mash-up. If these were two separate songs, I’d probably be into it, but it’s too much (which is strange cause the lyrics need more, they weak AF).

JW: I’m getting major hellogoodbye vibes from this. I would have loved this a long ass time ago, but now I’m just like, ugh gross teenage angst. I’m out.

RO: Another song about being young and out on the town and frustrated about being young and out clubbing or whatever. The Mowgli’s could just pick up a chill hobby like painting and just stay in if it’s gonna be so dramatic.

“I’m Better” – Missy Elliott ft. Lamb

JP: I never had a Missy Elliott phase so I feel like I’m missing out. This song doesn’t do anything for me. Hopefully fans are happy though.

JW: I’m not loving this. Missy has done better. This is just some kind of off-brand something. I’m not feeling this at all.

RO: I like the old Missy Elliot better :’(

“Falling” – Alesso

JP: If I have to hear one more song start with “Right here, right now is all we need,” I swear to god I will end someone. And cool it with the shitty bass drops. I’m not drunk enough for this.

JW: Drunk me would love this. Sober me wants to be drunk so I can appreciate this. But like, I’m working, so I shouldn’t do that, but it’s so tempting because this song is so bad without the buffer of alcohol.

RO: This is the most repetitive song I’ve ever heard in my life. I’m pretty sure the only lyrics are “look at me I’m falling” over and over and over again. Help.

“Hellfire” – Barns Courtney

JP: Okay, country-ish bullshit and The-Band-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named in the same playlist? What the fuck? Jess Whitesel owes me a drink for this week.

JW: I owe me a drink, too. This is bad. Like really bad. Maybe it will get burnt up by all the hellfire this country dude bro is summoning.

RO: Mmm I don’t really like this — it’s trying to be gritty but sounds kinda fake tbh.

“Lions” – Skip Marley

JP: Not bad. From what I can tell the lyrics are woke. NMF playlist had a strong start and a good finish. Too bad everything in between is shit.

JW: God bless the Marley family. Skip is Bob’s grandson and he didn’t lose out on any of the musical talent. I’m just impressed that there were actually three songs that I liked on the playlist this week. I think that that is a new record.

RO: Honestly, I’m just jealous that Skip Marley is Bob Marley’s grandson, how cool would that be. Not that my grandpa isn’t awesome, but c’mon, it’s Bob Marley.