March Madness is one of the biggest sporting events of the year, attracting huge viewership numbers and getting millions of people to fill out brackets on how the tournament will play out.
However, one bracket has stood above the rest — not because of how correct it is, but because of how absolutely shit it’s been. Drew McKnight, a second-year kinesiology student, has managed to get every single game wrong so far.
“I don’t know how this happened!” said McKnight, who filled out a bracket for his third consecutive year. “I really thought that this was going to be South Dakota State’s year. Jacksonville State really let me down as well.”
The odds of having a completely wrong bracket are approximately one in nine quintillion (that’s 10^18 for all you fucking nerds out there). Those are very similar to the odds of having a perfect bracket.
“Both are pretty much statistically impossible,” said Michelle Laurie, a professor in SFU’s statistics and actuarial science department. “You have a better chance of winning an Academy Award while being struck by lightning, and then winning the lottery the next day.”
With his bracket busted within the first couple of hours of the tournament — and with the stakes now so low — McKnight had to come up with some creative ways to keep the tournament interesting for him.
“I’ve now resorted to playing a drinking game I’ve made up,” said McKnight. “I drink every time someone says, “This is March,” or every time they show a shot of the mascot. Also, I just drink non-stop during the tournament. It’s made it a lot more enjoyable.”
With the start of the Sweet 16 to begin shortly, it will be interesting to see if McKnight’s bracket can hold up. If he manages to finish with a completely wrong bracket, rumour has it the NCAA will send him a trophy to commemorate the historic feat.