Posted in Humour

Highland Pub shuts down due to deficit; ‘students just don’t seem to be interested in eating and drinking anymore’

R.I.P to our beloved haven from failed exams, failed classes, and sobriety

Image Credits: Alexa Tarrayo

The Highland Pub shut down a little over a week ago and SFU students, professors, and faculty alike are mourning the closure of their favourite pub — even if it was only their favourite because there were no other choices. With the sudden cessation of the only SFSS service students give a shit about aside from the U-Pass, students are feeling understandably disappointed. When asked about the Highland’s closure, third-year kinesiology student Hannah Martin stated, “I now feel too sober to handle any amount of post-secondary schooling.”

Why did our beloved, dimly-lit dirt hole have to go? When The Peak spoke to the newly-elected SFSS president, he cited the the student consumers’ “clear disinterest in liquor and greasy food” as the reason for the closure. “It’s really strange. You really would’ve thought that any idiot could sell liquor and greasy food to students, but since we failed, it’s clear that students just aren’t interested in those types of things anymore. I guess all people eat nowadays is chia seeds and dirt.”  

As students say goodbye to the joys of the Highland, they can at the very least reminisce the parts of the memories they have of the pub and look forward to making new drunk memories elsewhere on campus — even though no other place will be as special as the pub.

What will become of the Highland Pub space? We were told that it is highly likely that raccoons will break in to eat trash and have sex in the establishment, and we can’t help but feel like that’s symbolic for all the wonderful years we’ve had at the Highland.