The Peak

Then & Now: What happened to the cast of The Magic School Bus?

By Kelly Thoreson

Ms. Frizzle

After word of the Friz’s zany field trips got out, she faced major repercussions from the school board and parents alike for unsigned consent forms. Before long she even lost the Magic School Bus. Without the Bus, Ms. Frizzle felt that her life as an educator was over, and she spiraled into insanity. 


Then: Taking chances, making mistakes, and getting messy

Now: Taking pills, knitting sock monkeys, and getting crazy

Occupation Mental patient

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Carlos

Carlos’ wit was taking him far in the entertainment industry; he was a shoe-in to host America’s Best Dance Crew until his whore wife left him — with four kids. Now Carlos is juggling bottles and old bootleg copies of The Magic School Bus between graveyard shifts. The only people who are willing to listen to his jokes now are his kids, and they don’t even laugh anymore.

Then: Making dad jokes

Now: Still making dad jokes

Occupation Single dad

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Ralphie

In high school, Ralphie’s love for sandwiches got out of hand. After a steady diet of breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack, midnight snack, soon he was an extra 200 pounds. Inspired by Jared of Subway fame, he took his love for sandwiches to a healthier joint. Look at him now!

Then: Being the fat, annoying kid

Now: Being the skinny, annoying kid — with fat pants

Occupation Subway spokesman

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Arnold

Never wanting to participate in Ms. Frizzle’s field trips Arnold begged his mother to allow him to be home schooled. Excited to have her little boy around more often, she consented. Now, 20 years later, Arnold is still spending all of his time at home but has found solace in World of Warcraft. After raiding all day, he and his mother eat Froot Loops and watch Desperate Housewives together.

Then: Wishing he had stayed home that day

Now: Staying in his mom’s basement all day

Occupation Level 60 Dwarf Hunter

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Dorothy-Anne (aka “D.A.”)

Once the sweet girl who could answer any of Ms. Frizzle’s questions, D.A. received a prestigious scholarship to go to Brown University. D.A. soon dropped out of school, however, having discovered the power of her blonde hair and hot body. She married rich, and got his wallet when the old man kicked it. Who needs education when you’ve got pigtails?

Then: Pigtails, seeking out facts in books

Now: Pigtails, seeking the pool boy’s virginity

Occupation Full-time cougar

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The Magic School Bus

Fed up with the Friz’s Godless heathen behaviour, using magic and all, the Bus decided to do some soul-searching, and found the church. The Bus was enlightened by his new relationship with God and soon became very active in the church community --— volunteering his services to a Bible camp every summer. God bless his little heart.

Then: Causing fucking magical field trips

Now: Feeling the magic of the Lord’s work

Occupation Bible camp bus