Why breakups are great

I know breakups are supposed to be a time of mourning, but honestly, girl, you should be celebrating. This is the time for you to revel in all the petty shit you hated about that bird-brained, shit-eating fuck-face (trust me, I need all of these words), and dance upon the grave of a shitty relationship […]

CoraFu - Dog Love

I sniffed you

Looking for the“good boy” You were tied up outside of a Whole Foods Market wearing a red collar. You were waiting for your human, being a good boy. I was walking with my human, also being a good boy. Maybe we could be good boys together sometime?   When: daytime Where:  the whole foods near […]


Horoscopes for dumb shits (Jan 30th—Feb 5th)

ARIES This is the week to give into bad impulses, Aries. You should message your ex. You should eat all the delicious lactose-filled desserts even though you’re outrageously lactose intolerant. Violent diarrhea is a small price to pay for all the hollow joys of giving in.     TAURUS Sobriety has been affecting you in many […]

Carolyn Yip _ Seal Dish - Opinion

Seal it about the seal dish controversy

Chef Eric Pateman of Edible Canada has been receiving a lot of criticism for the dish he’s serving for Dine Out Vancouver — Newfoundland seal pappardelle. Activist organizations are asking for the marine mammal to be taken off the menu, claiming that seal hunting practices are inhumane and that the dish supports the cruel hunt. […]


Horoscopes for dumb shits

ARIES: You’ve been a bit off the handle recently, Aries. Do you remember that alarmingly dramatic incident where you nearly lost your pinky toe? Of course you don’t, you silly drunk bitch. It’s time to step back and clean up your cum-stained life. TAURUS: Keep your eyes open for betrayal, Taurus. You’ve been an asshole […]


SPOOF: Famous Feuds of 2016

SFU Exams vs. The Snow What’s this? What’s this? What the fuck is this?! Snow is a big cock-slap in the face, and Metro Vancouver had that frozen dick whap her right on her pink cheeks this winter. SFU felt the whiplash of the cock-slap over the exam period — cancelling and rescheduling a plethora […]


Hot new slang to use in 2017

Lemon-sucking fuck-face: Bae is a lazy acronym for lazy lovers who blow their load before you can even start thinking about having an orgasm. You left that premature motherfucker in 2016 for better dick, and you should leave the term bae along with him.    Lemon-sucking fuck-face is a much better term of endearment. The […]


Who’s your SFSS sweetheart?

It’s that time of year again! What time of year you ask? Christmas? No way, you silly son of a pancake-headed fuck. It’s mid November and not Christmas, so please calm your holly-jolly erections. It’s byelection time! Time to be a responsible university student and give a shit about democracy — if only because they […]


Vincent Van Gogh-and-paint!

Hey there, friends. I’m an artist — and you should be one, too. Now, you may be thinking, “No way, I hate making visual art. Everything I illustrate looks like an uncharismatic potato.” Where’s the issue in that, though? Where did we first come up with the idea that to make art, one has be […]

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