Take some Ls in your blame game with your prof

Success is a touchy subject, and this is only compounded when your gambles for success cost a few thousand dollars per year, followed by gross investments of time. It’s only natural for perceived obstacles to frustrate you — and when it comes to your less-successful courses at SFU, sometimes those obstacles appear to be the […]


SPOOF: SFU’s Firsts and Lasts of 2016

Firsts March 13 – First time president Petter emerged from his office after five months of hibernation April 21 – First time the Highland Pub shockingly announced they were running a deficit June 3 – First time an SFSS president had to resign due to not being a registered student July 6 – First time […]

Don't feel the need to drastically remodel yourself just because the calendar has changed.

New year, new me(aningless promises)

The relationship between time and us here at SFU is gorgeously complex. We beg for more of it, demand the impossible from it, and curse the concept of it. Making deadlines, outings, and self-care fit together is like assembling a puzzle with no clue how the final product should look. It feels nice, then, to […]

Neon Genesis Evangelion is great, and don't try and shame for liking it.

How to deal with people ragging on your passions: don’t

Did you know that your hobbies and interests are subject to review by a jury of Reddit users with ugly neckbeards, elderly people with control issues, coworkers who think the whole world is a high school, and countless others? No? Good, because they aren’t, and you’re allowed to like whatever you like. Unfortunately, a lot […]


Learn what the words you use mean

I remember that it was an early Saturday morning, but not what set the conversation off. I probably made a silly joke at somebody’s expense. One girl turned to me and told me that what I said triggered her. I was incredibly alarmed and apologetic for a few seconds, until I realized that she wasn’t, […]


How to be an SFU gold digger

Post-secondary academics suck your wallet dry and flood your calendar with to-dos. But if you can make some time in your busy life to cultivate your gold-digging talents, you’ll be free of these earthly constraints. Here’s how to become a master! Identifying your target Like in 18th century France, clear markers divide SFU’s filthy rich […]


Give male birth control a shot

Acne unapologetically blooms across your skin. Your mood shifts rapidly and unpredictably. Your libido is up or down like a rollercoaster, and whether you realize it or not, you might be sinking fast into depression. If you read this and thought, “How terrible and unreal,” because you’ve never experienced any of this yourself, then I’m […]


Why I’m voting for Larissa Chen for President

The byelection is a waste of money, time, and sleep for all involved. But it’s happening, which means we need an option that won’t generate even worse problems. Between born-again candidate Deepak Sharma; Darien Lechner coming in like a wrecking ball on Build SFU; and interim president Larissa Chen, the gal who’s worn authority for […]


Rethinking the best and worst Pokémon

PIKACHU As the cute and world-renowned series mascot, it manages to slide into the DMs of just about every Pokemedia ever. It’s also a useless piece of shit. This mangy yellow rat is clingy, melodramatic, selfish, and ungrateful. In Pokemon Yellow, I can drop 2,100 hard-earned for a Thunderstone and Pikachu will still throw a […]


Stop guilt-tripping me over my trick-or-treating haul

Anyone who’s ever accompanied me for a dinner date knows my sugar addiction inside and out. If modern science could just harness my pure little sweet tooth’s power, we could scrap all our efforts to find clean and alternative energy sources right here and now. Contrary to what I put out there in my daily […]

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