Browsing Tag Jake Sanders

Santa: old dirty bastard?

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By Jake Sanders and Winter Holiday Issues ReporterSURREY, B.C. - "I'm so scared, I pee-pee my bed every Christmas," cried Ivana Tinkle, age six. This statement comes as a criminally-deranged senior citizen once again appears poised to terrorize the municipality. Surrey RCMP and residents alike are bracing themselves for what they anticipate will be yet another mammoth more...

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Straight Talk: Vigilantes need to kick crap out of Santa

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By Jake Sanders and Winter Holiday Issues ReporterHome invasion stories are a dime a dozen these days. Thugs bash in some geezer's door, rip off their dusty old Magnavox black-and-white boob tube, and deprive them of Matlock, Coronation Street, or whatever the hell else they can pick up with a coat-hanger antenna. Boo hoo. Heard it a million times by now. Hell, more...

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