HUMOUR: Delta plans shutdown of Alex Fraser Bridge for Magic: The Gathering tournament

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Photo courtesy of Bobanny (Wikipedia)

Shortly after the cancellation of the widely criticised ‘Om the Bridge,’ another familiar politician, Delta mayor Lois Jackson, announced that the city will be shutting down a different Lower Mainland bridge for a trading card game tournament.

“The City of Delta is committed to serving its people and hosting events representative of their interests,” announced Jackson in a press conference. “As such, we have opted to close the Alex Fraser Bridge on June 28 to facilitate a Magic: The Gathering tournament for Delta youth and man-children alike. Are you all ready for ‘Ice Storm the Bridge’? Because ‘Ice Storm the Bridge’ is ready for you.”

Just two weeks ago, Premier Christy Clark announced the closure of the Burrard Street Bridge for a several hour-long yoga event — a move that faced significant public backlash, considering the event was planned for the same day as National Aboriginal Day and Father’s Day. Om the Bridge was canceled just a week after the announcement.

Learning from Clark’s mistakes, Jackson reassured Delta residents that the event would not encroach on any other special occasions happening on that day: “We want to come together and have fun, but we also want to be respectful. That’s why we triple-checked our calendars and the only other thing happening on June 28 is National Paul Bunyan Day.”

However, some people are unhappy about the event. Fans of the popular card game Pokémon have voiced their disdain for ‘Ice Storm the Bridge’ over social media; many claim they felt insulted and neglected by the planned event, with others arguing that if anyone has the right to shut down a major bridge in order to play a card game, it’s Pokémon fans.

“The bridge being shut down is not what’s upsetting here,” SFU student and Pokémon enthusiast Charlie Kim told The Peak. “Jackson has turned her back on a far more vast community of people. And for that, she’s going to feel the heat like a Charizard’s blaze!”

Only a day after her announcement, Jackson made matters even worse when she tweeted a photo of a deck of Digimon cards with the hashtag #patulo2016. Needless to say, outrage over the event has only ramped up since.

“Personally I think it’s fantastic,” laughs SFU political science student Murtaza Zain. “As someone who’s played [Magic: The Gathering] from a very young age, I can’t wait. Pokémon fans are notorious for this crap. If I had it my way, I’d lock them all in their parents’ basements and throw away the key.”

Time will tell if the event will face the same fate as Clark’s ‘Om the Bridge,’ but at this time ‘Ice Storm the Bridge’ is still scheduled to go forward.

28 COMMENTS

    • not likely Heffer seems to think Christy only got criticized because it collided with another status. She is so flippin clueless, can you not have a non confident vote and get that thing out of there. Holy she is dumb

  1. If a contest was held to find the stupidest person in politics there’s little doubt the choice between Surrey’s idiot and our premier would end in a draw! They both have an incredible inability to make an intelligent decision.

  2. wow she is really just as stupid as Christy Clark, here is a thought, close down your street only, or better yet, did you ever thing about using parks? or is that too much common sense? instead you want to close down a bridge to 99% of people who are not participating in your little pokemon card game. Holy christ you are stupid.

  3. As some one who plays magic i laughed at this if its not a joke i am going to go see this and laugh if it is a joke its a good one if not a little insulting to mtg players

  4. For all of you who actually believe this is real; it terrifies me that you are allowed to vote and reproduce. Wow.

      • Nope. I will not take “srsly” an article in the Humour section any more than I will take the Onion as my most informed news source. Seriously, please consider sterilization. Unless you’re a troll then I tip my hat to you.

        • just cuz its funny to sum ppl duznt mke it funny k. look at this quote and think…

          The tyranny of a prince in an oligarchy is not so dangerous to the public welfare as the apathy of a citizen in a democracy.

          Charles de Montesquieu

          makes u think eh???

          • So you’re suggesting we be outraged by fake news and I assume spelling?

            If this were an actual thing, like the Burrard bridge then by all means be outraged.

            So let me ask you this: Why would the Mayor of Surrey have anything to do with a bridge that’s located 100% in the Corporation of Delta?

            Can you find any other source for this (if it was real which it isn’t) news? Just one. That’s not this site.

          • my comments keep getting banned.. idk what mods are on lol. ill try removing the links, i fonund one on news journal search, y would it have fake news on it??? also remember big money and politics like to mix.. delta corporation? idk, probably some $$ therer to explian it…

          • u obviously have to social skills or etiquette. u might want to hold of on having kids. it is trolls and assholes like u who make the comment section the most vial and disgusting thing to read. but hey, u r behind a keyboard using a fake name and the ppl around will never know who u really are, a big gapping asshole

  5. r u serious????? y do u think stoping traffic on a super busy bridge is a good idea? Linda has lost my vote…

  6. Humour section….. Horribly written and topically inaccurate….. Must be truth. IMy favourite was the spelling mistake

  7. You could’ve at least called it “Fireball the Bridge” or any other well-known Magic card. “Ice Storm” hasn’t been printed in a Magic: The Gathering set since Unlimited edition (1993).

  8. wow, I can’t believe that there are actually people out there that thought this was a real story. I’d really like to get them all in one room and talk to them about some land i have for sale in the Everglades. Did the header,”The Humour Page” not tip you off to the fact that this might be a spoof story. Our planet really is doomed if these people are allowed to have children. Heaven help us all………

  9. To all the folk disparaging those who were sucked in by this “Joke”.

    Your slurs would only stand if the PREMIER of the province hadn’t just tried to do the exact same thing with the Burrard St. bridge.

    The only ridiculous and terrifying thing about this is that Christie Clark runs our province.

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